The BBC has once again emerged triumphant in the Christmas/New Year TV ratings battle according to BARB, after over 20 million viewers tuned in to see Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II transmogrify into a much younger monarch.
This surprise climax to an emotional and action-packed televised speech has been hailed as the coup-de-grace in the BBC’s campaign against its rivals. ‘Auntie Beeb won the race for our festive goggle eyes fair and square,’ wrote one TV critic, ‘ITVs unimaginative broadcasting of films that most of us already had on DVD anyway came a poor second.’
The BBC’s fired the first salvo over the festive period with the Eastenders Christmas episode. Usually a dour and depressing affair, this year’s edition saw the entire cast commit suicide, leaving the public with 45 minutes’ worth of an eerily empty Albert Square. Most viewers appreciated the much-needed peace and quiet and ratings rocketed.
While the Queen’s regeneration came as no surprise to hardened fans of the royal, with spoilers being leaked on the internet for months, most assumed that the hotly-tipped Prince of Wales would take the starring role, not, as it transpired, Lady Helen ‘Melons’ Windsor.