England rugby team to counter NZ Hakka with Lambeth Walk

When the All-Blacks launch into their terrifying pre-match Hakka in this years’ rugby world cup, they might find the boot on the other foot when England reply with their latest weapon: the Lambeth Walk. 

 England boss Johnson has unveiled the latest team strategy – to answer the intimidating Maori war dance with this equally stirring English manoeuvre.  ‘As soon as the All-Blacks stop poking their tongues out at us, we’ll launch our counter-attack by sauntering around the pitch with our thumbs stuck under our imaginary lapels.’

 ‘I’m positive our rendition of this Cockney classic will have them quaking in their boots.’ Said Johnson at a recent press conference, ‘Especially when we round off our performance with a terrifying ‘Oi!’

 However many England fans have criticised the plan, saying that the Lambeth Walk isn’t ‘tribal’ enough; not befitting the brutal nature of Rugby Union. 

 ‘We originally considered Morris dancing.’ Answered Johnson, ‘But can you imagine what would happen if we gave the lads a stick and told them to start hitting each other?’

 ‘We also tried head-banging to Motorhead, which made us feel sick, and the cross-legged ‘Tiger Feet’ dance, but everyone kept tripping over themselves.  The Lambeth Walk is the only viable option if we’re to hold our own on the field.’

 ‘And besides,’ The head coach continued, ‘’Everything’s free and easy, do as you darn well pleasey.’ – pretty much sums up our strategy this year anyway.’

 (Written Sat 10 Jan 2009)

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Published in: on September 7, 2009 at 10:37 am  Leave a Comment  
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