Citizen’s arrest for man who broke urinal law

A Kidderminster man has spoken of his shame at being subject to a citizen’s arrest after failing to adhere to the supposed laws of the public convenience urinal. 

 ‘I just wasn’t thinking’ Said Barry Jones, 35.  ‘There was a row of four urinals, and a man was using the one on the far left.  Instead of going to the one on the far right I went to the next one along.’

 ‘I thought I’d done everything right: looking straight ahead whilst peeing and not taking too long to shake when I was finished, but suddenly found myself pinned against the lavatory wall and placed under citizen’s arrest by the other bloke.’

 ‘He claimed to be arresting me under something called the Civic Lavatorial Positioning Act (1938), where, should a person entering a public WC find one of the urinals being used by another person, he should use the urinal furthest away from said individual.’

 After this brief lecture this public-minded citizen, believed to be an off-duty policeman, frisked Barry for concealed weapons, extracted an on-the-spot fine of twenty pounds and let him go with a caution. 

 ‘I’m so ashamed that I could have been so stupid.  But I have to move on and put this whole business behind me.’ Barry stated, adding: ‘Er, can I wash my hands now?’ 

(Written 14 Jan 2009)

Published in: on September 8, 2009 at 10:05 am  Leave a Comment  
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