Tsvangirai’s MDC get plum jobs in Zimbabwe power-sharing government

More details have been released today about Zimbabwe’s unity deal bill, as signed by President Robert Mugabe.  This deal will see Morgan Tsvangirai and other MDC members take prestigious posts in the new power-sharing government.  ‘Our MDC colleagues have been allocated top positions in the government.’ stated Zanu-PF leader Mugabe.  ‘These positions will show the world that Zimbabwe is embracing change and that I am willing to work with the MDC.’

 Tendai Biti, MDC’s secretary-general, will be given the post of Minister for Wildlife – an important position given country’s tourism industry.  ‘Mr.  Biti will take charge of our nation’s fauna, nature reserves and safari parks.’ announced Mugabe.  ‘I have such a trust in this man that I have given him personal responsibility for hand-feeding the crocodiles in the Zambezi river.’

 The MDC’s speaker in Zimbabwe’s lower house of parliament, Lovemore Moyo, also gets a top job, as energy Minister.  ‘Again I have given him special, personal duties.’ Mugabe said.  ‘Mr.  Moyo’s job will be to check the country’s power infrastructure.  He will personally check that all electricity cables are live – eventually he’ll be given specialist testing equipment but until then we’ll waive safety regulations and let him use his tongue.’

 Perhaps the most significant change is that the Joint Operations Command, Mugabe’s military nerve-centre and main facilitator of his grip on power, does not escape the power-sharing process.  Opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai will be assigned the plum role of Minister of defence.  ‘Mr.  Tsvangirai’s duties will include the role of chief-quartermaster, where he will be personally responsible for inspecting our army’s weaponry.  This basically means looking down rifle barrels in search of defects.’ Mugabe continued, before pausing to consult a bodyguard ‘That reminds me,’ he whispered, ‘make sure he gets to inspect the artillery too – just in case.’

 (Written 8 Feb 2009)

Published in: on October 8, 2009 at 7:21 am  Leave a Comment  
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