Endangered species to merge

Two of the world’s most endangered species are to merge, it has been announced today. The Javan Rhino, a South-East Asian rhinoceros that has been hunted into near-extinction for its horn, and the Northern Hairy-nosed Wombat, Australia’s rarest marsupial, will merge to form a brand-new species, the Hairy-horned Wombino.

Deborah Sheehan of the World Wildlife Fund brokered the ground-breaking deal and believes that, despite the concerns of wildlife purists, the merger represents both species’ only real chance of survival. “There are fewer than 60 Javan Rhinos and about 100 Northern Hairy-nosed Wombats in existence.” she said, “If this deal didn’t go ahead it would only be a matter of time we lost both of them.”

Specific details of the merger are being kept under wraps at present, but it is believed that the Wombino will keep certain attributes from both species. According to the WWF the Javan Rhino’s dense bulk and appetite will be a positive asset in Australia. “The Wombino will be able to munch or shoulder its way through the foreign flora that has devastated its habitat.” explains Sheehan, pointing out how the animal’s hairy horn will also be an asset against Asian poachers. “Far from its horn being an aphrodisiac, its hairiness will put a dampener on many a Chinaman’s ardour – no one wants an itchy, hairy ‘horn’ do they?”

The WWF is keen to point out other advantages of the deal, which will see the Hairy-horned Wombino occupying its predecessor’s territories in Vietnam, Indonesia and a small national park in Queensland. “From these bastions the new species can expand into former habitats from Malaysia to Burma, New South Wales to Victoria before spreading throughout the whole of Asia-Australasia.”

Plans are already being drawn up for further rare species mergers, each designed to protect the future of the donor animals. These include the Yangtze Flying Dolfish, the Siberian Sheath-tailed Tortoise and, less optimistically, the British Mini-Woolyworth.

 (Written 16 Feb 2009)

Published in: on October 14, 2009 at 8:03 am  Leave a Comment  
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