15% of British households too smug to own a TV, shock survey reveals

A shocking government survey has revealed that approximately 3 million British households have become too smug to own a television set – a sharp rise from previous figures. 

The survey, carried out on behalf of the government by the Economic and Social Data Service (ESDS), shows a staggering increase in the number of smug and self-righteous families throughout the UK, each of whom no longer own a TV. 

‘Growing economic and environmental concerns are major factors for this increase,’ according to the ESDS report.  ‘Such conditions have compelled a growing number of middle-class households to dispose of their television sets in order to make themselves feel superior to their neighbours.’

The survey also identifies a nation-wide spread in this phenomenon, which in previous studies was largely confined to the South-East of England.  ‘Our researchers have measured greater amounts of preachiness across Britain.  Heads of households are increasingly inclined to lecture their peers on the advantages of not owning a TV.  Quotes such as: ‘Oh we make our own entertainment these days’; ‘all those channels and there’s still nothing on’ and ‘I’d rather my license fee money paid for Peter’s Badminton lessons’ are being heard more and more often.’

The survey means more bad news for Britain’s beleaguered manufacturing industry, already reeling from the effects of people ditching their cars for pushbikes, their central heating boilers for roof-mounted solar water heaters and games consoles for family pets and children. 

Those wishing to read the full survey report can access it on the ESDS website, or watch a three hour BBC News 24 special: ‘Is Britain Disappearing up its Own Arse?’ on BBC TV channels 1, 2, 3 and 4 every day this week.

(Written 25 Feb 2009)

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Published in: on October 19, 2009 at 7:49 am  Leave a Comment  
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