‘Wife largely responsible for plughole blockage’, forensic tests prove

One of the longest and most bitterly fought legal cases of modern times finally came to an end today thanks to some crucial forensic evidence. The high-profile case of ‘Mr. and Mrs. A’ first hit the headlines two years ago when ‘Mr. A’ initiated legal proceedings against his wife for wilful damage of property after a blocked plughole caused their bath to overflow, resulting in extensive water damage to their home.

Since the opening hearing, Mr. A has maintained that, despite repeated requests that Mrs. A wash her hair over the sink, she has in fact been doing so in the bath, causing her hair to block the now infamous plughole. As the case progressed, witnesses told of how they also heard Mr. A repeatedly admonish his wife for leaving the taps on “while yacking to your mother on the downstairs phone.”

During a lengthy bout of accusation and counter-accusation, Mrs. A strenuously denied these claims, claiming that hair from her husband’s balding pate was responsible for the blockages, and that any flooding was in all probability due to Mr. A’s habit of falling asleep in the bath. Her defence team also produced affidavits to the effect that the hallway was always draughty “as Mr. A was too tight to turn the heating up,” forcing Mrs. A to take the cordless upstairs phone into the bathroom.

The case was then adjourned for several months to allow the gathering of further evidence until the hearing was reopened three weeks ago. In a flurry of excited media speculation, Mr. A’s case for the prosecution blew apart his wife’s defence with damning forensic evidence proving that 9 out of 10 hairs recovered from the bath’s waste pipe belonged to Mrs. A. Black dye found on sample hairs were found to exactly match the dye used by Mrs. A, while repeated laboratory DNA tests gave a 100% match.

It is reported that Mr. A has been awarded forty thousand pounds, plus a considerable sum in legal expenses. However most of this will be returned to Mrs. A following the conclusion of divorce proceedings this week amid revelations of Mr. A’s infidelity with his neighbour Mrs. B, babysitter Miss C and an incident in a public lavatory with Messers D, E and F.

(Written 25 Feb 2009)

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Published in: on October 20, 2009 at 7:42 am  Leave a Comment  
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