Motorist in the dock after honking when not horny

Michael Jenkins, a 36 year old car salesman from Surrey, is due to appear before a magistrate after admitting to honking his horn whilst not feeling particularly horny.  ‘I was stuck in traffic on the way back from work,’ explains the shamed motorist, ‘when I noticed a van in the next lane with a ‘honk if you’re horny’ sticker, so I though it’d be a laugh to pap my horn.’

However Mr.  Jenkins later admitted that he wasn’t actually feeling sexually aroused at the time.  ‘I was still knackered from going out with the lads the night before.  Plus I’d had a hard day at work – car sales are down and I hadn’t shifted a single vehicle all week – and I was feeling drained.  Queuing for ages in traffic and knowing that all I had to come home to was an earful off my wife for not getting my bonus again didn’t help much either.  I guess that the policeman on patrol must’ve noticed that I wasn’t looking randy enough when I tooted, ‘cos within minutes I was being pulled over.’

Jenkins must now answer to charges of endangering lives by dangerous driving, driving without due care and attention and failure to obey road signage – charges that are disproportionate for his misdemeanour he believes, although he does admit that falling asleep at the wheel half an hour previously and seriously injuring several pedestrians as he veered onto the pavement might also have something to do with it.

(Written Apr 2009)

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Published in: on November 19, 2009 at 8:24 am  Leave a Comment  
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