Open invitation on Facebook to wreck house turns into enjoyable party

A Berkshire humanities student has been left counting the cost after her open invitation to wreck her parent’s 5 bedroom house on a well-known social networking site degenerated into an enjoyable party full of light music, urbane banter and nibbles. 

19 year old Sara Bridges first hit upon the idea to invite hoards of destructive youths into her parent’s house, an extensive property on the outskirts of the small village of Caniston St.  Xerxes, after similar instances hit the headlines in recent months.  ‘Mummy and daddy had booked to go on an Indian Ocean cruise, but wouldn’t let me go along as I had coursework to finish.’ She explained to reporters.  ‘I was determined to show them what a mistake it was to think I could look after myself, so I let it be known on my Facebook wall that it would be open-house on Saturday night.’

‘When a group of drunken lads turned up at the front door I thought my plan was working.’ she continued, ‘but instead of kicking off in a booze-laden orgy of destruction, they simply stood in a corner, talking among themselves and inspecting daddies record collection.’ Soon other revellers appeared, carrying not the expected cans of White Lightning and pocketfuls of ready-rolled cannabis joints, but, much to her chagrin, bottles of Pinot Grigio and a Mediterranean dip selection. 

‘Rather than trashing the place, these so-called gatecrashers wandered around the house commentating on how tastefully decorated it was.  I thought things might turn a little nastier when some teenage girl from the council estate dropped a mini Kiev on the carpet, but she quickly apologised and cleared it up with a wet wipe.’ Sara’s hopes were further dashed when the neighbours came round, not to complain, but to offer to help with the washing up. 

‘It was a complete disaster – nobody even had the courtesy to stick a slice of pizza on the wall behind a curtain so that we wouldn’t find it until 6 months later!’ she lamented, ‘at one stage I thought I’d caught a couple shagging in my parent’s bedroom, but it turned out they’d only gone up there for a lie down as they both suffered from migraines.’ Miss Bridges was unable to comment further however, as she was due to negotiate a ransom for her parents after their drug-fuelled swinging cruise was hijacked by Somali pirates.

(Written Apr 2009)

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Published in: on November 23, 2009 at 4:02 pm  Leave a Comment  
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