Man’s scalp could be completely hair free in ten years

The top of an Abergavenny man’s head could be completely hair free in as little as ten years’ time, a top hairdresser has warned. Sue Prestwick, of ‘Cut Above the Rest’ hair and tanning salon, studied 26 year-old gas fitter Gary Tappin’s scalp for the last six months before coming to this worrying conclusion.

‘From the first time that Gary popped in for a quick trim during his lunch break, I have been measuring the distance between his crown and his fringe,’ she said, ‘and it has become increasingly obvious that his hairline is receding at an alarming rate.’ According to Prestwick, this thinning of the pate cannot be attributed to natural erosion alone. ‘Gary’s had a lot of job worries recently, and got his girlfriend pregnant in August. Once the baby comes along I predict that most of his hair will vanish in a matter of months.’

Prestwick’s work, which has been hailed as a ground breaking study into the loss of man’s most precious commodity, has been plagued by technical problems. ‘At one stage we had a power cut halfway through Gary’s fortnightly trim, and there was that time when he went to the barber’s down the road when he was offering a free ‘something for the weekend’ with every cut, but nonetheless the data I’ve gathered paints a compelling picture.’

‘It’s a wake-up call for Gary,’ she continued, ‘most men think they’ve got decades to go before they need to worry about this sort of thing, but I can tell you that it’s happening here and now. It’s like taking the lid off the top of Gary’s head – only less messy obviously.’

(Written 16 Oct 2009)

Published in: on January 11, 2010 at 8:27 am  Leave a Comment  
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