Ben Fogle and Boris Johnson form crime-fighting duo

Popular television presenter and adventurer Ben Fogle has joined forces with Mayor of London Boris Johnson to form their own dynamic vigilante crime-fighting duo, it has been announced.

Speaking at a packed press conference, the unlikely pair revealed how their separate experiences gave each of them a taste for battling evildoers. ‘Chasing a bunch of young girls while brandishing an iron bar certainly whetted my appetite,’ Johnson declared, ‘so imagine my joy when I discovered that young Fogle here was similarly inclined. Pooling our crime-fighting talents was an obvious move.’

Johnson and Fogle, or ‘The Shining Knight’ and ‘Sledge Boy’ as they will henceforth be known, will begin dispensing their own brand of slightly posh justice by patrolling the environs of Kensington and Chelsea in their ‘Oikmobile’, a state-of-the-art Range Rover which has been adapted to run on roads, light railways and Arctic sledge routes.

‘We are confident that our combined skills will cause a dramatic fall in the national crime rate,’ said Fogle, ‘The Shining Knight’s power to provide high-visibility police officers at bus hubs and his ability to replace metropolitan police commissioners will deter even London’s most hardened criminals, whilst I shall erect a protective cordon around our great nation by rowing single-handed around a circular route from the English Channel to the North Sea.’

Fogle and Johnson have also launched a nationwide competition to design superhero style costumes for the crusading duo. Current favourites are a crumpled suit and cycling helmet combination for Johnson and, submitted independently by several female entrants, a special crime-busting utility thong for Fogle.

(Written 16 Dec 2009)

Published in: on February 1, 2010 at 3:23 pm  Leave a Comment  
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