Aircraft carrier stolen after being left running on the driveway to de-ice

A red-faced Royal Navy officer has admitted that HMS Illustrious, reported stolen this morning, had been left running unattended on his driveway of his Portsmouth home in order to clear the ice off the windows of its conning tower.

‘I had just popped into the garage to get a pair of wellies and a shovel,’ commanding officer Captain Oliver Hinstridge told police officers, ‘I was only gone for a minute but when I came back there was a great big aircraft carrier-shaped hole in the snow where my ship had been.’

Scene of crime officers are now combing the area for clues, including a discarded ice scraper, a 36 metre wide gap made in Captain Hinstridge’s privet hedge and a Harrier fighter/bomber left abandoned on the Gosport ring road.

A spokesman for the Hampshire Constabulary has warned motorists and mariners about the dangers of leaving vehicles’ engines running during the cold snap. ‘It’s like manna from Heaven for opportunist thieves. Only last week, a missing Churchill MkII stolen from Bovington tank museum was found burnt out in a Yeovil council estate, and what was thought to be an impromptu Red Arrows display over Manchester a few days ago turned out to be joy riders.’

Following this latest theft, police are urging the public to be on the lookout for any ship with a displacement of 22,000 tonnes, following reports that an Invincible-class light aircraft carrier was spotted leaving the Solent at great speed. The vessel was last seen circling the Isle-of-Wight, annoying residents with blaring horns, loud music and Merlin HM Mk.1 helicopters.

Published in: on February 3, 2010 at 8:42 am  Leave a Comment  
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