Advertising Standards forces broadband providers to change advertisement wording from ‘up to’, to ‘nowhere near’*

The Advertising Standards Authority would like to advise consumers that, as of today, all broadband providers must replace the words ‘up to’, with the words ‘nowhere near’*, when advertising their products.

In other words, the advertising slogan ‘with up to 20Mb broadband speed’ will now read ‘with nowhere near* 20Mb broadband speed’.

*in fact, you’ll be lucky to get a tenth of that, and frankly, considering the state of the crappy old aluminium telephone cabling in your area, we’re surprised you can get any form of interconnectivity at all.** We could of course replace this cable with optical fibre, but that would cost us a bloody fortune, so, unless you can persuade your cash-strapped local authority to stump up the money, don’t hold your breath.

**unless you are one of the tiny percentage of the population who live in our trial fibre-to-premises zone in Surrey, in which case, fill your boots with as much illegally downloaded movies and porn as you can manage. Sir. 

(Written 12 Feb 2010)

Published in: on March 4, 2010 at 12:03 pm  Leave a Comment  
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