Russia ‘winning the race in attractive spies’ admits intelligence chiefs

Following the publication of Russian spy Anna Chapman’s Facebook photos, British and American intelligence agencies have been forced to admit that the Russian Foreign Intelligence Service (SVR) is ahead of the game when it comes to the attractiveness of their operatives.

‘Regardless of how inept the SVR’s spy ring in America was, you have to concede that Chapman is quite a looker,’ admitted MI5 spokesman Major Robert Stanton. ‘Who’s the lucky chap that got to do a ‘brush past’ with her eh? That’s one deep cover I wouldn’t have minded getting involved in, if you know what I mean.’

According to Stanton, Chapman’s photos and the video footage which shows her discussing venture capitalism whilst wearing a revealing low-cut blouse, has exploded the myth of the sinister Slavic man-woman agent. ‘The Russians have gone a long way since the Rosa Klebb days, though hopefully stunners like Chapman are still trained to strangle people with their thighs – Jesus… imagine that…’

‘Kudos to Putin for finally getting some proper talent into the SVR and putting the ‘cor’ back into international corporate espionage,’ continued Chapman, who, it has been revelaed, is currently moonlighting as a script consultant for the remake of the movie Carry on Spying.

Published in: on July 5, 2010 at 1:34 pm  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I, too, have been more than a little impressed at the quality of the Russian female spies.
    I was thinking of how to write a short sub about it, and have been beaten to it by this excellent piece.

  2. Go ahead and write it mate – perhaps it’ll have more success on Newsbiscuit than this one!

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