Dogs and mice come out in support of woman who binned cat

A Coventry woman who was filmed putting a household cat into a recycling bin and was subsequently pilloried by both the press and social networking sites, has found an unusual ally in the form of the nations dogs and mice.

Mary Bale, 45, has had to contend not only with angry mobs outside her house, but also a ‘Death to Mary Bale’ Facebook site. Reacting to this ‘overreaction to a moment of madness’, Britain’s canine population has pledged to support the woman. ‘It’s terrible that someone who is obviously rather lonely and confused should be treated in this manner over something simple as binning a stupid old cat,’ growled one Rottweiler, ‘I’ve mauled hundreds of the buggers over the years but you don’t see hoards of idiots baying for blood outside my kennel do you?’

Bale has also had several messages of support from mice: ‘It’s about time someone stood up for the little people,’ one rodent proclaimed. ‘Cats have had it coming for centuries – what they’ve been doing to us mice amounts to an unreported genocide, yet when one of them gets tossed into a bin it’s all ‘ooh the poor thing!’ Poor thing my arse – chuck ’em all in I say.’

Reports have been flooding in of a number of dog or mice related incidents in the vicinity of Ms Bale’s home. A group from the Cat’s Protection League who attempted to make their displeasure known to Ms Bale was sent running by a pack of savage mastiffs, while a team of animal rights activists who attempted to batter down the door of Bale’s house with a team of elephants was thwarted by a single field mouse, which scattered the panicky pachyderms in all directions, flattening a community police officer in the process.

Fears of an escalation in the dog vs. cat vs. mouse conflict are acute today, after packs of heavily-clawed ‘self-defence committees’ of cats have been spotted throughout Warwickshire, vowing to avenge these perceived slights against felinekind. ‘The gloves are off now,’ one anonymous cat told reporters, ‘it’s mousetrap and frying pan time!’ There have also been unsubstantiated rumours that a large contingent of broom-wielding heavily-built Afro-American housekeepers yelling ‘Thomas!’ in the area.

Published in: on August 31, 2010 at 2:26 pm  Leave a Comment  
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