An appeal…

…on behalf of the Abandoned Shower Gel Foundation.

Every year thousands of bottles of shower gel are being abandoned – left to gather dust in bathroom cabinets, corner shower shelving units and the back of the sock drawer.

Given as presents by unthinking wives and aunties, these innocent shower gels are left neglected by their owners: unopened, unused, unloved – except when someone forgets to replenish the soap. Many are sold as part of a two pack with some deodorant, which is quickly used while the shower gel can only look on forlornly.

But there is hope.

The Abandoned Shower Gel Foundation is dedicated to finding new homes for these poor semi-liquids. Every day we rescue hundreds of bottles of shower gel from middle aged men and re-house them with younger people; those more caring about their washing routine, grooming products and personal odour.

But we cannot continue without your help. Please give as much as you can to the Abandoned Shower Gel Foundation – just £2.50 will pay for the postage to send a bottle of Lynx Africa wash gel to someone who showers more than once a week, doesn’t prefer Imperial Leather and/or would rather a nice bath.

Please give generously and remember, a bottle of shower gel is not just for Christmas (and possibly your birthday).

Chilly freezer aisle shoppers to be given free cuddle

Shoppers of frozen foods at Waitrose are in for a treat as of today, for the upmarket superstore chain will be offering a free cuddle to anyone who ‘looks a bit chilly’ after emerging from the freezer aisle.

‘In these warm summer months we have customers coming into our stores wearing shorts and T-shirts,’ revealed marketing manager Lorraine Tudor. ‘Which is fine until you get to the frozen goods section – the amount of people we see visibly shivering while they pick up their Hagen Daas – having a cuddly member of staff in a thick woolly jumper to give them a hug is yet another example why Waitrose is top when it comes to the shopping experience.’

Consumer groups have welcomed the move: ‘the free hug is a fantastic innovation, and great value for money too,’ said Mike Carpenter of Which? Magazine. ‘Normally you have to pay for that sort of thing. Now all we need to do is find the store with the most attractive women and/or pray to God that Anne Summers takes note and starts a similar scheme.’